Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Breaking down the few truths in Smirky McStumbletongue's final (we hope) SotU

There were so many, many lies in the shrub's state of the union liefest that it is difficult to explain them all. In fact, it would take days to break them all down. It is far easier, in fact, to simply explain the few truths contained within what we all pray is the shrub's final speech on the state of the union. And so I shall. I leave it to far more talented writers than I to explain the multitude of deceptions. I shall point out the few truths. All technical, rendered utterly meaningless by the exaggerations, distortions, half-truths and outright fabrications. But truths nevertheless. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe. Just remember that one can actually lie with the truth, and the shrub excels at that.

Seven years have passed since I first stood before you at this rostrum.

Technically true.

In that time, our country has been tested in ways none of us could have imagined.

Also technically true.

rising competition in the world economy, and the health and welfare of our citizens. These issues call for vigorous debate,

Again, technically true.

Yet history will record that amid our differences, we acted with purpose.

True, but not the way the boy indicates.

All of us were sent to Washington to carry out the people's business. That is the purpose of this body. It is the meaning of our oath. And it remains our charge to keep.

See? That's another truth right there.

The actions of the 110th Congress will affect the security and prosperity of our Nation long after this session has ended.

Again, true, but as pointed out before, not in the way the boy indicates. That's where the lie follows.

Wages are up, but so are prices for food and gas. Exports are rising, but the housing market has declined. And at kitchen tables across our country, there is concern about our economic future.

Another truth. He doesn't mention that wages are only up because Congress had to sneak a paltry minimum wage increase into a military appropriations bill, but who's counting? Beside the rest of America? And yes, exports are rising while the housing bubble has burst. And working Americans are worried.

I will issue an Executive Order that directs Federal agencies to ignore any future earmark that is not voted on by the Congress.

Given his track record for ignoring the law at his whim, I think we can all agree that the boy is telling the truth when he says he will order his lackeys to break the law.

Our shared responsibilities extend beyond matters of taxes and spending.

Another technical truth.

Six years ago, we came together to pass the No Child Left Behind Act, and today no one can deny its results.

Technically true. They did pass the act, and no one can deny that this unfunded mandate has failed miserably.

When the Federal Convention met in Philadelphia in 1787, our Nation was bound by the Articles of Confederation, which began with the words, "We the undersigned delegates." When Gouverneur Morris was asked to draft the preamble to our new Constitution, he offered an important revision and opened with words that changed the course of our Nation and the history of the world: "We the people."

As far as I am aware, this is true. Alrighty-then, there you have it. The shrub's (we hope) last SotU speech, with all the lies removed. There isn't much left, is there? See, if the boy had decided to leave out all those deceptions, he could have spared us -- give or take -- forty-five minutes of his deceipt.

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